My first post comes after session #11 of my TMS treatments. At the moment I totally understand why I am beginning with number 11. Today is the first day in nearly 3 months that I have felt good enough to begin documenting my journey. As if I woke up brand new. I am so grateful to have woken up to see this day. I appreciate things on such a different level, starting today. There is a part of me that is quite hesitant to even discuss my current situation. However I do know that if I am able to help anyone by starting this blog, that is my #1 priority and I am so excited to do just that.

I started Transcranial Magnetic Stimulation treatments on Tuesday, February 13, 2018. It was a last resort, as I did not respond to any of the plethora of medications I was prescribed to try. I was severely depressed, debilitatingly anxious, and just a complete wreck. Desperate for relief, I began my treatments. In tears. Because that’s how I spent my days anyway. In tears.

During the first few days I read as much as I could about TMS therapy. I joined a TMS Support Group on Facebook, which offered opinions, thoughts, and feelings of all degrees.  Overall, most people responded well to the treatment. Largely, relief came after 8 or 9 treatments. So it makes sense that it took this long.

When I began I could hardly hold my head up….I was drowning in a misery that was inexplicable to anyone. I was also drowning in night sweats. Almost literally. Every. Single. Day. Today I slept in until 7 by accident. No excrutiating anxiety to jolt me awake at 5:24am. It was absolutely grand, to say the least. I put makeup on today. And get this: jewelry.  So I’m feeling better. And it makes me want to cry, but in a completely hopeful, fulfilling way, unlike yesterday, when this life was nearly unbearable.

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